Politics and Family Tensions Are More Intense This Thanksgiving. Data Proves It. | Opinion
Thanks to his years as a political commentator and program host on Fox News, Jesse Watters has become one of President-elect Donald Trump’s most prominent supporters. Eventually, his outspoken backing of Trump became too much for his mother, Anne Watters. Just days after Trump was named president-elect, Watters revealed that his mother had disinvited him from Thanksgiving.
This year’s election has deeply divided voters, and as the nation prepares for the winter holidays, it's also creating rifts within families.
As a psychologist specializing in family estrangement and a national public opinion researcher, we’ve noticed an increasing rise in affective polarization. Families and friends who were once close are now limiting or severing contact over political differences. In fact, political affiliation has become the most significant factor in determining whom people connect with or exclude, surpassing religion, race, ethnicity, gender, and other traditional divides.
To explore the divisive impact of politics on family and friends, we conducted a nationally representative survey of U.S. adults shortly after Election Day. We asked if politics had affected their relationships, and if so, whether it had led to limited or severed contact. Additionally, we reached out to clients experiencing estrangement to share their stories.
Here’s what we discovered.
Estranged from family over politics? You're not alone.
Thanksgiving is on November 28, 2024. While the holiday’s origins may not be as accurate as some stories suggest, many still see it as a time to gather with loved ones and express gratitude. However, today, one in two adults report being estranged from a close family member. While the primary cause is often something a relative said or did, about 40% directly attribute their estrangement to political differences. Nearly half of those estranged over politics say the break occurred within the past year, with one in seven reporting it happened in the past month.
These disassociations often involve cutting off all communication, even through intermediaries or on social media.
Even for families not yet fractured, the influence of politics is still strongly felt. A third of American adults say they've felt uncomfortable at a family gathering in the past year due to a relative's political views. Another third worry that political arguments will overshadow upcoming family gatherings.
There’s little difference in estrangement by political beliefs, with liberals (21%) and conservatives (20%) experiencing it slightly more than moderates (14%).
Affective polarization is growing
The pain that leads to, and follows, estrangement often shares similar characteristics. One example comes from Jonathan Simcosky, a self-described "gay son of a Southern Baptist preacher." He explained that while he once respected his father’s moral views, he could no longer trust or respect him after his father supported Donald Trump. “If we can’t agree that Donald Trump is uniquely unfit, I don’t see how we could ever agree on anything meaningful,” Simcosky said.
Another estrangement story comes from a retired police officer who, despite voting for Trump, was cut off by his liberal son and daughter-in-law, who excluded him from their lives, including access to his grandchild.
Most families estranged over politics hope for reconciliation
Interestingly, being on the same political side doesn’t always prevent estrangement. One left-wing Jewish matriarch was traumatized by a Hamas attack on Israel but later discovered her son posting Hamas propaganda on Instagram. After a month of texting, he cut her off, accusing her of promoting genocide.
Survey data suggests that most Americans condemn the behavior of those who cut off family members over politics. Two-thirds agree that such actions are unjustified, and most family disputes over politics could be easily resolved.
However, reconciliation isn’t simple. Just over half of those estranged because of politics would like to repair the relationship. An apology or a change in behavior could help, but fewer people see reconciliation as likely.
Family relationships are increasingly vulnerable
Family dynamics today are more fragile, influenced by what sociologist Zygmunt Bauman called "liquid culture"—an era of rapidly changing norms and values. Traditional bonds and shared principles that once held families together have weakened, making relationships more vulnerable to political and cultural polarization.
To repair strained relationships, we may need to work harder to take responsibility for our own contributions to conflicts, show more empathy, and avoid the dead-end of proving the other side wrong. It’s no easy task, but most find that the rewards outweigh the risks.
As the old adage goes, “Never discuss religion or politics with those who hold opposing views,” a principle that dates back to the post-Civil War period, when etiquette was a way to foster civility.
As for Jesse Watters, he shrugged off his Thanksgiving disinvitation on air. While some took sides on social media, one post on X stood out: “There are many members of my family with whom I disagree. But I keep comments to myself. They are entitled to their opinions. I am entitled to mine.” A quaint sentiment—and one that seems timely.
Joshua Coleman is a psychologist, senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, and author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict. Will Johnson is the CEO of The Harris Poll, one of the world’s leading public opinion research firm
